Skip to content


The One Where I Can’t Wait for School to Start Again

Maybe that’s not the cool thing to say. And while I type this, I hear the lady shopkeeper down the road rolling her eyeballs like marbles in a cup as she says once again, her tone more urgent as time wears on, serving another cheery mum, scanning her celebratory caramel digestives which she…

Leave a Comment

What is Cyclothymia?

Cyclothymia (or cyclothymic disorder) is a personality disorder. It’s bipolar’s slightly younger, highly annoying little sister. She tries to emulate bipolar in every way she can, but gets it a bit wrong along the way. On the surface they look the same, they even sound the same, it just comes…

Leave a Comment

The Quiet Ones Have the Loudest Minds

Generally when I meet people for the first time I’m all awkward and completely forget how to behave when I’m around actual human beings. I start to panic that when they look me in the eye they’ll be able to see all my secrets, steal my superpowers and notice that…

Leave a Comment

When You Realise All Parents are Dicks

Now first things first, don’t take it personally, I’m not calling you a dick. OK, I am. But it’s OK, because to you, I’m a dick too. We’re all dicks. I spent this afternoon in a building the size of an aircraft hanger in the arse end of fucking nowhere rather…

Leave a Comment

“When are you having another baby?”

This morning, I helped a friend after the school run. She had her hands full, was trying to open a heavy gate and push a buggy at the same time. Naturally, she was causing a tailback of parents trying to hot foot it out of the bitter cold after kissing…

Leave a Comment